Hello my lovelies! So, guess what? It’s that time of year again—cue the confetti, break out the wine, and prepare for another existential crisis because it’s my birthday! Yep, another trip around the sun, another year of questionable life choices, and another chance to reflect on the joys of getting older as a woman. Spoiler alert: it totally sucks!

Let’s start with the obvious: wrinkles. Seriously, who invited these unwanted guests to the party? They seem to multiply faster than bunnies on spring break, popping up in places I didn’t even know could wrinkle. And don’t even get me started on the “laugh lines.” Sure, they’re a testament to a life filled with laughter, but couldn’t they have picked a more flattering place to hang out?

Next up, metabolism—aka the ultimate traitor. Remember when you could eat an entire pizza and still zip up your skinny jeans? Yeah, those were the days. Now I gain five pounds just by standing within five feet of a cupcake. Thanks, aging, for turning my metabolism into a snail on a treadmill. Not like I didn’t have issues with it before!

And let’s talk about sleep—or lack thereof. Remember when eight hours of shut-eye was the norm? Now it’s more like a distant memory, a mythical creature that only exists in fairy tales. Between hot flashes, night sweats, taking care of my mother, and a never-ending to-do list running through my head, who has time for sleep?

Oh, and let’s not forget about “adulting.” Sure, being a grown-up has its perks (hello, wine with breakfast), but it also comes with a never-ending parade of responsibilities—bills to pay, deadlines to meet, and endless piles of laundry that seem to reproduce when you’re not looking. Can we go back to the days of nap time and juice boxes, please? PLEASE?!

My sister would call it a generational curse but my mother instilled a deep hatred of aging in us very early on. It was so ingrained that I had to do the math a few years ago to determine how fecking old I actually was. No joke! It was rather sobering so of course I grabbed a bottle of wine and thought long and hard about it.

After reflecting on all the losses over the past several years, all the losses the whole world has endured, how dare I spit in the face of being granted another day on this earth? With even more loss looming overhead, I ain’t playing that anymore! Every day, every breath is a blessing and should be celebrated with infinite gratitude. Can I get an Amen?

Obviously with each passing year comes a little more wisdom, a little more resilience, and hopefully a lot more wine. So here’s to embracing the chaos, laughing in the face of wrinkles, and celebrating another year of surviving this wild ride called life. Cheers to getting older—because let’s face it, it beats the alternative!

Slàinte!